Vaguely Urban

I'm Told 8 Is The Luckiest Number In China

Not usually a particularly superstitious person, I get kind of irrational just before the New Year.  This year, same as ever, I want the best, freshest, most auspicious start to 2008.  And my superstitions play out from my head to my... toes.

Yesterday, I went to get a pedicure, so that I would not bring grody 2007 chipped polish into the new year.  But that was just the beginning.  When I went to pick out my polish color, I made my selection with the goal of helping along my dreams for 2008.  I picked out three colors that I liked, and looked at the names.   Chick Flick Cherry.  St. Petersburgundy.  Lincoln Park After Dark.

Each name more loaded than the last!  Chick Flick Cherry had strong potential, because if selected, it would undoubtedly contribute to lots of times with my girlfriends in 2008.  Good potential color.

St. Petersburgundy?  No way.  Burgundy is a wine, duh, and me and Dave are gonna try to work us up a baby next year.  Can't drink wine when you're pregnant.  OUT.

Finally, Lincoln Park After Dark.  Lincoln Park is in Chicago - and my fond wish for 2008 is to go visit Krispita and her pookie Mr. Bell Tower in Chicago.

BINGO.

It's quite the sassy color.  I'd show you, but feet are kinda gross, and goodness knows I don't want feeeetie p0rn pervs coming around here.

So here's wishing you a 2008 with Mauve-lous Moments, Raisin Riches, and Pink-Steam Dreams!

Super Merry Jingle

Hope you're finished with all your shopping and wrapping tasks, and that you have lots of time to focus on what really matters during the holidays.

Naps.

Merry Christmas from the Little Ninja, Dave, and me!

Wonder What He Means By "And Massage"

Christmas is a special time of celebration and love and family.  And presents.  PRESENTS!

Before any Christmas gifting commences, I want to show you the best gift I've received to date in 2007. 

Do you like it?  It's a strippy go go dancer's bidness card.  He gave it to me at a gay bar in South Beach.

But wait!  It's much more than a mere business card.  Flip it:

It's a 2008 calendar!  So handy and useful!  I'll keep it in my briefcase.  That way, when I'm at court and the judge says, "Counsel, does September 8 work for you for trial?" I can make quick reference to my convenient gay stripper calendar card and make a prompt answer.  What a winning strategy!

By the way, I think that stripper really liked me.

Sometimes, Being A Lawyer Is Rad

Right this very minute, there are shitloads of paparazzi outside my office building.  K-Fed's lawyer's office is in this building, and apparently Brit Brit is scheduled to have her depo taken today.  I have a great view onto the valet parking area; here's hoping for a glimpse.

**Update**

Britney was a no-show.  Quel surprise.

Hell Toupee

Sometimes you're strolling down the street after a nice brunch and your heretofore lovely morning is blown to shit by an atrocious window display.

And then you realize that you at least got a free post out of the experience, and your mellow is restored.

Handcarved By Transcendental Monks, I'd Wager

Excellent advice.  Pare down.  Streamline.  Trim the fat.  Get rid of the clutter in your life.  The junk.  The dustcatchers.  The tcotchkes tchat tchserve no other purpose than to muddle up your life and obstruct the path to mental clarity.

The useless, meaningless crap that sits on shelf.