How I Found My Long Lost Gay

Couple months back, an All-Attorney email came round from one of the IT guys up in our San Francisco office. Clint Taylor. 

Now Clint Taylor is the very name of one of my old buddies from college.  Well, not the very name, but the very first name, with an equally common last name. 

The reason I left the first name intact is that College Friend Clint taught me two very important things.  The first was how to be a Grade A fag hag.  Or more accurately, he provided me with sufficient opportunity to practice my haggery that I inevitably reached the pinnacle of fruit fly-dom.  It's still one of my most useful skills.

The second thing I learned from Clint Taylor is that, when your name is Clint, it is important to print it in block letters.  To write it in script is to invite confusion that your name is something that homos traditionally eschew:

I lost touch with Clint when I moved to New York (we had no Facebook in those days), so it was with fledgling hope in my heart that I replied to the IT Clint Taylor's email, saying I knew that his name wasn't the least common name ever, but was he perchance the Clint Taylor I knew from UCLA circa 1996?  Well, it's times like this that my singular first name is quite handy, because the answer came back immediately:

"Did you used to drive a Volvo?" Hell YES I used to drive a Volvo.  I'd found my Will Truman!  Clint Taylor!

I replied:
"Do you take care to write your name in block letters?"

Seconds later, my phone rang, and I was joyously reunited with my long lost gay.  I'll never lose him again!