Report From The Desert

This past weekend was my beautiful friend KHJ's bachelorette party in Las Vegas.  I didn't know many of the other girls before this weekend, but after two plus solid days of drinking, lounging, and dancing, I sure do now.  And my life is totally the better for it.  These girls were SUPREMELY fun. 

Not only did I have awesome girl-bonding time, I also learned a lot.  Allow me to share the take-aways from my education:

• Getting a cabana or two at the Venetian pool is a genius plan.  The people-watching, the boobalicious butler-babe, the chilled fruit plate, the respite from the sun --- so divine.  Pricey, yes, but for a special occasion: worth it.
• NOT worth it, on the other hand, is The Bank at the Bellagio.  I'm talking, not even worth it when getting escorted into the VIP area, gratis.  It may be the latest thing, but it's packed full to the gills with obese geriatrics (like, twice as old as me; and I'm old); toothless, camera-bag toting idiots; and dickish staff.  Seriously bad.  Though if you persevere, you can throw a damn fine dance party with your own posse in a side hallway.

• You can discover marvelous new product options from girls you have known for mere hours.  Simply neglect to bring along your usual bar of Dove, and be generously loaned (and instantly addicted to) Kiehl's cleansing milk.  Skin like a newborn silkworm.  Or steal some spritzes of Freeman alcohol-free spray gel from the girl with the high-gloss mane and get piecey texture our of your day-old blow out.
• A 9mm Glock is a fearsome thing, and commands respect when you hold it in the palm of your hand.  Even with the magazine taken out.  Everything a handgun symbolizes adds to the surprising heft.  Sight along the barrel, and feel powerful and a little shakey all at once. 
• Some people, when they say they are allergic to or otherwise intolerant of dairy?  They are not lying.

Comments

[TasterSpoon]

Which eye did you close when you sighted?

[Vaguely Urban]

My right eye. It's the only one I can close on its own. Can't even wink with my left eye.

Is that significant in some way?

What do you sight with?

[TasterSpoon]

I assume you're shooting right handed? So I guess the key is, you have to keep open the eye that's holding the gun, otherwise the sight will be off and you'll always miss.

I was falling asleep last night thinking, just the word "Glock" is very scary. I mean, what if it was called a 9 mm Perfuffle? Not as scary. Mr. Glock chose a good profession.

Is that what LL Cool J is referring to when he says "My nine is easy to load"?

[Dan]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ocular_dominance

all you need to know on Ocular Dominance!

Knowing the nature of a few of LL Cool J's lyrics I am going to say no on the "nine" being a gun

[melati]

Um, we were in Vegas last weekend too. What the?!?

And I can't fucking get into my fucking website because fucking google thinks I'm a fucking SpamBot.

Makes me soooooooooo mad because my recap plus your pictures equals an adorable post that sleeps through the night and speaks French, Spanish, Indonesian, and Italian fluently.

[Helmet]

what did I miss? how did you go from hair products to firearms?