Friday Flotsam XXII

This morning on the way to work, I spotted a way to make a few extra bucks.

Never ever doubt that LA will always innovate new and hideous ways to sell out.  Some company in LA is paying people to turn the roofs of their cars into ad space.  Not a bad way to make your car earn back some of its ever-escalating fuel charges. 

******

Jury duty.  I got out of the case (a lewd conduct/sexual assault kind of case) by speaking at length about the rape prevention advocacy and counseling work I did in college and my pro bono domestic violence experience in law school.  Also, a touch of assholery by sassing back to the judge.  When I disclosed by victims' rights point of view, he asked if it would change my opinion if he told me that the alleged victim was a male (as was the defendant).  I said, "First of all, your Honor, it wasn't only women that I worked with in college and law school.  Men can be raped, too.  And they can be the victims of domestic violence.  But to answer your question, I can be fair."  Defense counsel thanked and excused me shortly thereafter.  Victory!

******

So I'm off the trial, but now I have another case to resolve.  The case of the Mysteriously Appearing Ben & Jerry's.

It just... appeared in our fridge.  We had a bunch of other Ben&Jerry's pints in there left over from a dinner party, so maybe they bred?  Or maybe the hot lesbian dogsitters left it in there.  Though it's not like them to turn to two men for comfort.  And between the two of them, they aren't wanting for luscious peaches.

Any guesses?

******

Happy Father's Day to all the papas out there, especially my own!  And a bonus shout out to Bunny, Pastor J, Dame-O the First, Dick Tony, and all the other darling papas to be.

Comments

[TasterSpoon]

How do you know the defendant wasn't the real victim here? Maybe gay D came on to straight P and P got disproportionately upset and sued. Or maybe D and P had a fling but P's wife found out so P is now crying rape to save his marriage!

Well, if those were the case, I suspect D's attorney might have kept you on. Do you feel like you want to follow the case in the paper now?

[Lauree]

I was wondering what happened with that. Well they gave you the day off and they also gave you great foder for your blog. I suspect that either way you would have fodered about the experience! Love to hear your adventures around LA! Muah!

[Fraulein N]

Taking note: Assholishness gets you out of jury duty. Got it.

[Word Perv]

I think you should have shouted, "FRY HIM!!!" when they asked you a question. Then they would have said, "Ummm...ma'am... This isn't a capital punishment situation." And you would have been like, "Oh, I know. You see I'm a lawyer. But I just always wanted to scream that in court."

Immediate dismissal. See how brilliant that is?!

[lori]

Congrats on the assholery and getting out of jury duty! I still think you should have tried the "You're out of order!!" tactic, but...

I wish Ben & Jerry's would appear magically in MY freezer! Maybe it's the brand of your freezer? Maybe mine doesn't have that capability? hmm.