With Apologies To My Little Brother
About five years ago, I had a series of laser hair-zapping treatments. It hurt like a bitch, but now my underarms and bikini line are generally sleek and smooth. I go in about once a year for a touch up torture sesh. Yesterday was the big laser taser day for '08 (four days of camping next week, it seemed like a good time).
I have it done at this schmancy dermatologist's office, and all the employees are 'Tox'd and Restylaned to bland perfection. This includes the RN who does the lasering. As she went at my armpit with the laser wand, she pointed at one rogue hair on my boob, about halfway down from my arm, on the side. This was a fairly fine hair. Just one. Silky and singular.
"THAT'S WEIRD!" the RN cried, aghast. "There's one on your breast!!!" I was all, "Well, get it."
But in my head, I was all, Really? REALLY? You spend your days zapping all manner of unwelcome body hair off of different parts of people's bodies, and my one silky boob hair merits this hue and cry?
Plus, I read Cosmo sometimes, and Cosmo has addressed the topic of Shameful Nipple Hair on at least two occasions. I find it hard to believe that she's never seen a side boob hair.
I didn't say anything though. My motto is: When your enemy holds in her (dermapeeled) hand the ability to taser your eyebrows off, you keep your mouth shut.
At least yours was "silky and fine". My rogue nipple hairs are black and coarse. I pluck those bitches.
Posted by: Word Perv | June 25, 2008 at 03:14 PM
Your pits are as smooth as a baby's bum! I love your pits. You touch up just once a year?
Just this weekend, as I was standing in REI contemplating my own upcoming camping trip, I was thinking I wish I'd gone ahead with the laser two years ago when I was pestering you about it. I was totally picturing your hairless camping experience and envying you.
Posted by: TasterSpoon | June 26, 2008 at 09:52 AM
Your pits are as smooth as a baby's bum! I love your pits. You touch up just once a year?
Just this weekend, as I was standing in REI contemplating my own upcoming camping trip, I was thinking I wish I'd gone ahead with the laser two years ago when I was pestering you about it. I was totally picturing your hairless camping experience and envying you.
Posted by: TasterSpoon | June 26, 2008 at 09:52 AM
Ugh, Typepad.
Posted by: TasterSpoon | June 26, 2008 at 09:52 AM
Seriously, you make me laugh out loud. Well played!
Posted by: Lauree | June 27, 2008 at 09:15 AM