Vaguely Urban

Friday Flotsam XXXIII

Thank goodness for the DNC.  It's been such a substantively satisfying replacement for the Olympics.  Monday night I was all "What do you mean, there's no opportunity to see Usain Bolt's enormous schlong amazing ability to break world sprinting records?"  But then Tuesday came, and Hillary was on stage and I was captivated by hope and patriotism all over again.  And now, sitting here watching Senator Obama promise to deliver the comprehensive changes this country needs, I have hope and patriotism better than even Michael Phelps can inspire. 

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Did you send me a gift subscription without telling me?  Unbidden, I have started receiving an Elle subscription at work, and a subscription to Dwell at my house.  (This month's dwell features the Go Fug Yourself babes.)

Elle... Dwell... Maybe I am a magnet for magazines of a certain rhyme scheme.  Future subscriptions might include:

Yummy Smell - Conde Nast's answer to Good Housekeeping

Beth El - Your Reform Congregation Digest

Norman Fell - The Homophobic Landlord's Resource

What The Hell? - The magazine for people who get unsolicited magazine subscriptions

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I'll be in Breckenridge for Labor Day weekend (yes, flying into Denver the morning after the DNC concludes - fun!).  A dear old friend is marrying a gorgeous (inside and out) woman) in her quiet little mountain town.  In between wedding festivities, I'll be exploring Breckenridge.  There's a fine arts festival and - wait for it - a rubber duck race!!

You can be sure I pre-entered a duck.  I'll report back next week on how my contender fares.

Friday Flotsam XXXII

The Flots is XXXII, just like me!  Matchies!

Today I was thinking about Coronitas.  Seen below, second from left.

Specifically, I've been thinking, "What's the fucking point?"  If you're going to have a beer, treat yourself to the full 12 ounces.  Who wants a measly 7 ounces?  Unless you are trying to fool yourself, "Oh, they're tiny, I had 10 but that's like two regular beers."  Then I respect you and your bouquet of Coronitas.

I'm still absolutely mad about the Olympics.  Things like Women's beach volleyball!  And Laura Wilkinson's calves! 

They're totes like Barbie's legs!

Dude, I felt like such a creep, googling for images of "Laura Wilkinson Legs"

Have you read The Time Traveler's Wife?  Highly recommend.

This weekend consists of a Palm Springs getaway with E and T.  E is well and truly knocked up with a nice fertile five-month belly.  She'sabout to start the new school year teaching high school Spanish.  Her agenda for the weekend is To Float.  Considering we have like 20 Funoodles, that shouldn't be a problem.

Friday Flotsam XXXI

Like everyone else, I'm pretty much in an Olympics-induced sleep deprivation stupor.  Seriously, I've probably committed malpractice any number of times this week, and certainly I should not be behind the wheel of any functioning automobile.  There are dishes in the sink, I haven't made the bed in days, and the bags under my eyes will serve nicely if I want to avoid plastic grocery sacks at the market.

It's been so so so worth it.  I love an opening ceremony that cost more than the GDP of many nations, and puts every penny to jawdroppingly stunning use.  I love the technology that takes you from air straight underwater with the divers and then shows their trajectories in a time-lapsed overlay.  I love how watching Kobe alley-oop to Lebron James makes me go really really fast on the elliptical machine.  I love Shawn Johnson and Kerri and Misty, and Michael Phelps.  I REALLY love me some Aaron Piersol, and wouldn't kick Eamon Sullivan out of bed for eating crackers.

Live, on three hour tape delay, it's all Olympics, all the time round these parts, and promises to stay as such for the next 9 days.  Go USA!

Friday Flotsam: XXX meets 08.08.08

So when your teams are are Bejing-bound? And you wanna Triple XXX throw down?  Dial 1-800-Vaguely Urb, and kick them nasty thoughts.

Really what goes together better than Olympics and porn?

Sadly, I have not much of porn to report, being a respectable married lady and all.  Ummmm.. Dave and I got a new bed and christened it?  Married sex!  WOOOOO!

OH!  I know!  I got a shot of a bunch of asses from Dave's 30th birthday in Vegas, with hand silk-screened XXX undie favors in effect:

Not very Olympicky, I know.  But very XXXy.

In the end (see what I did there?), probably the best interface of Olympics and Porn is a little story Tasterspoon told me during the Athens Olympics.  Apparently the good organizers of Athens had thoughfully placed BARRELS of condoms around the Olympic Village for the athletes to deploy when they were unable to resist the allure of so many competition-ready bodies.  Like so many holy water fonts.  Except not very Catholic at all.

The 'Spoon told me that the barrels were empty by the end of the first week.  Apparently the swimmers were constantly up in each others' business.

Friday Flotsam XXIX

I already posted for real this week, y'all, so here is some OG flotsam posties:

• Ginger has been sick all week, poor little bugger.  It's been torture to watch her feel so miserable.  Also, I've been cleaning up a lot of dog vomit and diadookie.  So has Dave.  After two vet visits, blood work, x-rays, subcutaneous fluid, and four (count 'em) prescriptions, she seems to be truly on the mend.  Basically, she seriously bruised her hip ligaments jumping off our bed - ignoring the steps, natch - and then the pain meds wreaked havoc on her digestive system.  She is a delicate flower, see.  Our relief over her recovery is boundless. 
• Happy Birthday, B.  I Wii-ly love your peaches, wanna shake your tree, girl.  (p.s.  It's the XXIXth Flotsam.  Coincidence?  hardly.) 
• I love Facebook.  Send me an email or leave a comment if you want to be my Facebook friend.
• My Facebook love is diminished a little by the sadness I feel when I see the random people from my high school who have gotten fat. Not that I'm some waif.  It just bums me out that all those trim 16 year olds have doubled in both age and weight (None of my Facebook friends is included in this class, incidentally)
• I had two cases settle within one day this week.  That means my workload just got massively reduced.  That means I am very happy.
• I'm still vegan-ish, and mostly caffeine- and gluten- free, but I did have a glass or so of wine last night.  Turns out that wine is really delicious. 
• Here is a photo of an effed up license plate frame that my dad and brother and Dave and I saw on the way to the Angels' game a couple weeks ago.  If anyone can explain it or knows the reference/origin, I will send a prize: